T1: The dog you pictured and the one that arrived

Bruce had a very clear idea of the dog he wanted: definitely not a Pomeranian, and preferably a Rottweiler like his friend's dog, Trigger. They went to the pet store wanting to browse through the puppy pens, looking at options. But then Tatiana touched the glass behind which a tiny puppy napped in his food bowl. He woke up and started licking her fingertip through the glass, and Bruce came home with a Pomeranian after all. He had paid more than double what he'd planned to. Now Judge is the dog love of his life and he would not have it any other way.

In the first episode of the Pawplexity Pawdcast, we talk about what those first weeks actually asked of us, before we had words for any of it.

Ben wanted a Husky, but got a Pomsky, and went in with a plan for the crate. He bought one that was too large, put Bowie in it, heard what he describes as a human-like scream, and ended up with his head inside the crate until Bowie fell asleep. What Ben gave Bowie was his presence, night after night, until the crate felt like somewhere safe. Not even a month later, Bowie started going there by choice.

We all raised our dogs first in North America, where crate training is largely unquestioned. Growing up in Germany, to me the same thing initially read as a cage. And yet in many German households the puppy sleeps alone downstairs or in the hallway instead of the bedroom: a baby animal in a lonely place with no sound of anyone breathing nearby. Both approaches debate the object, crate or no crate, bedroom or hallway, rather than the question of what a young animal actually needs when everything around them is new and nothing yet belongs to them. The crate that becomes a safe space and the hallway that stays a lonely one aren't so different. What changes them is what happens around them: whether the puppy comes to associate that place with someone returning, and with their world becoming manageable. A safe space isn't about containment, it's somewhere a dog can go when the world is too much, and leave when they're ready.

When Makenzie moved in I was so happy to finally have her in our home. The moment she came through the door we put her down in the hallway, assuming she needed time, space, and rest, that she would be shy. Instead she ran straight in and investigated everything. I thought she was so brave and present. But she was also just a baby, disconnected from everything she had previously known, surely looking for something in that new apartment that could be hers. She eventually fell asleep in the playpen we had prepared for her, probably because it was the cosiest place she had found. I'm fairly sure now it was from exhaustion rather than comfort. In that moment I had misread her completely, and it wouldn't be the last time.

The research confirms that a predictable environment and a safe one aren't the same thing for a dog. Predictability is about time, knowing when food comes, when the walk happens, when the day ends. Safety is about place and person, somewhere that belongs to them, someone who comes back. A puppy can have a perfectly structured day and still spend it feeling uncertain, because knowing what comes next is not the same as feeling able to influence any of it. There is a distinction that is easy to miss: an animal can anticipate an event without experiencing any sense of control over it. And this difference, between knowing and being able to influence, is what separates a structured environment from a safe one. Even within a well structured day a puppy can experience stress, if that structure does not also provide a sense of agency to them.

A puppy who seemed perfectly fine all day can suddenly overflow in the evening. This usually isn't misbehaviour, but often it is a puppy who simply is not able to self regulate and at the end of the day. Sometimes a puppy that appeared calm throughout the day has not felt settled enough to not overflow. Research into how dogs respond to new and unfamiliar environments shows that physiological stress can remain elevated even long after behaviour has normalised. This means a puppy can look quiet and yet still be working hard underneath, often resulting in energy outbreaks in the evening. Makenzie went through these witching hours or zoomies for quite a few weeks when she was young. She did not know how to regulate herself, and I did not know that I had to provide this structure for her, thinking that a reliable routine would be enough. 

Makenzie knew what she needed before I did. So did Judge, and so did Bowie. From the very first day, none of our dogs were waiting to be shaped. They were already reading the room, working out who was safe, and finding their ground before we had found ours. 

We think of puppyhood as the period when we teach them how things work. But the puppy is doing the same thing in the other direction. What changes, eventually, is that you stop trying to be the one with the plan and start paying attention to the one who has already been reading you.

None of us had expected how quickly we'd stop being the ones with the plan.

This is the Pawplexity Treat for episode 1 of the Pawplexity Pawdcast „Our truth about puppyhood“. The audio reading of this post is available in the Pawplexity feed. Find it here.